Things to bet on
by GrimOne
Summary: First FanFic, any constructive is welcome, good or bad, R/R! Will do more if liked. Shepard and Tali's relationship gets ousted just after LotSB. T for language. Stand alone from my main story. Nusquam Alius Res  Nothing else Matters .
1. Ousted Part 1

All characters belong to Bioware as they say.

As Liara stepped up to leave John's room he called out for her.

"Wait up, I can at least escort you out Shadow Broker."

Liara smiled a small smile, she still had feelings for John, but she knew it was over and her chance was gone. She did really mean it when she wished John and Tali luck in their relationship. She glanced at his light brown skin and brown eyes, wishing he was coming to be with her.

"John, I didn't see Tali on my tour, I would like a holo of the remaining SR-1 crew members if you think that is alright."

"I'm sure it will be fine, everyone should be getting ready for dinner, I'm sure we can catch them there, except maybe Joker. We're just orbiting above the Shadow, I mean your ship so who knows?" John pressed the button and waited for the elevator.

"John, I'll give you whatever information I can, there is just so much now. With the agents reporting in over the last few days it can be overwhelming."

"I know you'll get the hang of it, besides, Feron will be able to help if he doesn't kill the assistant."

A small chuckle left Liara's lips, "Yes, I suppose so. Getting a new crew will help out a lot when I can find trustworthy people. Thanks for letting your crew help make repairs."

A few days of a different type of work were fine. John noticed the crew seemed to enjoy a break from the normal routine. Besides, over the last week he had gotten 4 weapons upgrades, tons of minerals, credits from sponsoring missions, and best of all, a new ship model for his cabin.

The elevator came and opened, and they stepped in.

"EDI."

"Yes commander?"

"Are Dr. Chawkas, Garrus, Tali, and Joker at the mess?"

"All but Joker, he is waiting for the elevator to join everyone for Dinner."

"Okay EDI, let's stop for him."

Joker saw the elevator open and was surprised to see Liara and Shepard together, and what seemed to him, a little closer than just friends. He told him on the SR-1, don't shit where you lay, but the great Commander Shepard, just went ahead anyways.

"Getting off, Liara?" Joker asked implying more.

"No Joker, we are going to see Tali, Garrus, and the Doctor, I want a holo of the old crew, you included."

Joker looked at Sheperd and shook his head, Tali was going to flip, why would he do this to her? If he dumped her like this, savior or not, he was going to give Shepard a piece of his mind. As the door closed he looked a Liara.

"So, any freaky big black eyes stuff I should know about before Tali whips out that knife and stabs one of you?"

"Jeez Joker, nothing is going on. She wants a holo and then she's leaving for her ship."

Joker smiled, "Either way, I'm going to enjoy being in the peanut gallery for this."

"Peanut Gallery Shepard?"

"Don't worry Liara, he just wants to egg people on, since there is nothing happening, there is nothing to egg on." Then in a more authoritative tone "Right Joker?"

Joker muttered, "Oh yeah, right, everything's peachy." Why are the elevators so damn slow he wondered to himself.

In the mess hall, most of the crew had gathered for dinner. Everyone was off of the Shadow Broker's ship and ready to move on. It was rare for almost the whole crew to be there. But, with EDI able to control the ship while repairs were being done on both her and Liara's ship, people could gather all at once.

Tali sat near the front of the main table, nervous, legs crossed, and slowly bouncing. Everyone knew Liara had gone to Shepard's cabin, most where wondering if the Commander was really with Tali. Even if he was, could he pass up on an old flame? Or so the rumor went. Tali had avoided Liara on her tour of the ship. Kasumi sat next to her friend and was trying to console her and the made up fears she knew she was having. She was one of the few that knew of the relationship.

In a whisper that couldn't be heard over the dull roar of dinner conversation, she kept talking to Tali.

"Tali, he chose you, and you have been seeing him since we got back from the Omega-4 relay. Don't worry, what could an Asari have over you, any one of them?" And she smiled, but realized that might not have been the best thing to say. Kasumi sighed and looked across the table to Garrus for help. Garrus just shrugged his shoulders as he had seen humans do when they did not know what to say. He hoped Shepard wouldn't leave Tali. No he thought, Shepard isn't capable of that…is he?

The elevator opened and Joker raced out, well, as fast as he could limp with a goofy smile on his face.

"I want good seats for this one commander." Joker went to the left to get to the mess hall.

Liara chuckled, as John shook his head. Tali knew what she meant to him right? It had been a short time, but he knew what she had done to be with him and he would not have picked her if he wasn't ready for her to be the only women in his life. He had read what he could about the Quarians, even on the SR-1. They couldn't afford to be promiscuous with the suits and immune system and being with a new alien species left more unknowns. He wouldn't just have a one night stand with her. It's just a holo with some old and good friends, what could go wrong? Famous last words he thought as he and Liara went to the right and walked into the mess hall.

As John and Liara entered everyone turned and as they saw them, went silent. Some of the crew that were leaving since they knew the elevator was on the floor turned around and leaned against the wall. All eyes were on the Commander. Some glanced over to Tali so see if there was a reaction, to see if the rumors where true.

Shepard cleared his throat. May be this wasn't such a good idea after all. "Well everyone we are just here to get a holo of the SR-1 members for Liara. Dr. Chawkas, Garrus, Joker, you have second? We can just go to Port Observation and take it against the window."

Garrus and Dr. Chawkas nodded. Garrus got up from his chair and headed towards Shepard. Dr. Chawkas stood up from the other end of the table and also started walking over.

"It's good to see you again Liara. Need anything before you head back?"

"Oh no doctor, I'm fine", Liara said as she kept pressing into the room to the second table and saw Tali facing away from her seemingly oblivious to her presence. As Shepard came up to the table Kasumi turned around in her chair, and shot him daggers with her eyes, and a smirk that was not pleasant. She mouthed something, but he couldn't quite make it out. It didn't seem pleasant though. Shepard was really having second thoughts now. He looked around the room, the crew were waiting for something to happen, the ground team members present seemed interested to say the least too.

Jack was playing her usual I don't give a fuck routine, but Miranda seemed to have a small smile on the edge of her lips. She had not taken his rejection well, and if Tali lost out too, especially after being with him, all the better as far as she was concerned. Miranda had seen who took to the elevator to the Commander's cabin before the Omega-4 relay in the logs. She still thought it should have been her. With the Asari light years away, she would have worn Shepard down eventually. But, Tali was always around.

Grunt looked at his battlemaster. He knew only the strongest should be his mate. He had heard the rumors too, but with the Quarian in her suit he could only smell the pheromones from the other women on the ship and now the Asari he brought in. The women's levels had all fallen off recently as the contest for his affections seemed to end, but in the suit he didn't know what the Quarian's body was really doing. He had faith Shepard would chose the strongest, his battlemaster had not let him down so far.

Thane and Samara just exchanged knowing glances and waited for what was to come. Gabby also shot the commander daggers, she saw them in the engine room, how could he do this to Tali? Ken watched and just thought about the money he had wagered on who the commanders love interest was. Looks like they would all finally find out. The Asari added a new mix to the ship wide betting, but being in engineering he had bet on Tali, and convinced Gabby it was sure money. Most of the operations department had bet on the XO, Ken thought it must have been because of fear. No CO of any ship he had ever been on had visited engineering that much, besides, he had to make up for the 500 credits he lost to Shepard in the "newbies" poker game.

Finally, Liara approached Tali and placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. Tali jumped, shaken from her world of thoughts and swiveled around in the chair. Facing her competition? Rival? Friend? Whatever she was, Tali wanted her gone and to just leave her and Shepard alone. She won his heart over everyone else and now this happens. Maybe the ancestors were trying to punish her, but she wanted it so badly. Her eyes had opened wide when she turned around, now they were narrowing, questioning, now looking angry.

Liara started, "Tali, it is good to see…"

Tali tensed up, she couldn't control it, it wasn't fair, she finally had some happiness again after all these years. Tears started to form under the helmet, then to everyone's surprise, especially Tali's, the words just came out.

"He…he's mine." It started shaky, but ended as a sure statement. The room turned to Liara.

"Tali, I am sorry if …."

Tali stood up right in front of Liara, "No, you can't have him!" The words were sure, direct; Tali's eyes bore into Liara.

"Tali'Zorah! Please let me finish. No one is here to take John from you. After hearing how he has talked about you over the past week, I do not think it would be possible for anyone to do it. Least of all me!" Liara seemed a little sad at the end of her statement, but quickly recovered as she noticed everyone looking at them.

Tali's cheeks blushed and her eyes widened as she processed what Liara said. Kasumi was smiling and give Shepard an approving nod. Shepard was still shocked at Tali's outburst, but liked the fact they were finally out in the open. The crew started to whisper and omni-tools lit up around the mess hall.

Tali fidgeted and wrung her hands together, embarrassed at her outburst to her old friend.

"I'm sorry Liara, I umm…oh Keelah...should have known better. Umm….what do you want? Ahhh…I'm sorry."

Tali was looking at the floor not sure what to do next.

"It's okay Tali, I understand the feeling. But, it's good you got it out in the open. Sneaking around on the old Normandy was no fun. The Commander should be open about his relationships. For everyone's sake."

Shepard could feel the conversation turning against him and tried to change the subject.

"Let's get the Holo everyone, to Port Observation. Okay?"

Then to Shepard's dismay, Joker spoke up from across the room.

"Yeah, Liara, what sneaking around was going on around the first Normandy?"

"Shepard, is this the peanut gallery you spoke of before? Human humor?"

"Yes, thank you Joker, let's just move.."

Before he could finish, Ken broke from his smile to a full shout "Yes! Eat it ops!"

Hawthorne responded, "Yeah, yeah, guess you have to be a couple to work in engineering isn't that right Gabby?"

Gabby blushed a bit and stepped back. Liara smiled and spoke up.

"Just like the old Normandy, the crew betting on your social life Commander?"

Shepard looked disapprovingly at Donnelly "Okay, Ken how much since you seem to be so happy about it?"

"I got 4000 credits, thanks for coming through Commander, I know you didn't come down to engineering just to talk my lovely face. But, I don't mind. Tali's odds make the winning sweeter lass."

Hawthorne retorted, "That's okay, I just won 1000 credits on you and Gabby."

Ken turned to Gabby who was bright red and then to Hawthorne, "How did anyone know, we were…"

"I didn't until you just confirmed it. HA!" More omni-tools lit up as credits passed around the crew once more. Ken grabbed Gabby's hand, "Well if the Commander can come out, so can we. There are no Cerberus rules anymore."

Miranda was not happy about the recent turn of events. Relationships, betting, she must have been slacking as the suicide mission approached. Then another idea came to her. "EDI, what were the odds on the Commander?"

"Operative Lawson, they were 3 to 1 on you, 5 to 1 on Miss Zorah, 7 to 1 on Miss Chambers, and 10 to 1 on Jack. When Dr. T'soni came back, her odds where 4 to 1."

Miranda hadn't expected the odds to be that close, had she pushed Shepard away that badly? What had she done wrong? Everything was going her way until TIM had sent Shepard Tali's dossier and he dropped everything to go to her immediately.

Shepard sighed and tried to get things moving again, "Okay, great, we can talk about the betting later, can we go take the Holo now?"

Then the last person Shepard wanted to speak did. With a small spread of his mandibles, Garrus stepped back to the table.

"You know Liara, some of use lost a bunch of money on the Commander on the SR-1 on his, ahem, social life. Can you dispel the rumors? How did you wind up with the commander?"

Liara chuckled, "You know, it wouldn't be a bad idea for the crew to realize Shepard is only human."

Tali looked over at John and saw the unease in his stance as he tried to close out the situation. He could use a good teasing she thought. Besides, getting information from him was like pulling teeth.

"Yes, Liara let's all hear, I'd like to know about the things John might not tell me."

The crew came close and got ready to hear about the Commander in a new way. Shepard for his part tried to back out of the room, but a small thief appeared behind him and said, "Please, you're the guest of honor, the crew does need to know you're a mere mortal, take a seat." Shepard signed and sat down next to Liara with Tali on her other side.

"Well Garrus, what do you want to know?"

"How about how you beat out Ashley, we heard things, but never knew the truth."

John put his head on the table and waited for the inevitable. This was the worst that could have happened he guessed. All he had to do was let Liara leave.

"Well, she was the easiest to beat of the 2 rivals. I just invited her to a three way with John and I and she stormed out of the room. I knew she wouldn't accept, she hadn't faced someone like me before."

Eyes around the mess hall all popped open, half of them had their jaws open too. Kasumi nudged Shepard, "You dog Shepard, didn't know you had it in you."

Grunt smiled and let out a loud "HA! I knew my Battlemaster was strong, two women."

Tali was as shocked as everyone else. Then she giggling stating, "Before anyone asks, it's NOT going to happen, right John."

Shepard continued to rest his head on the table. "Of course not Tali. Thanks for the vote of confidence Grunt, really. Anything else Garrus? Can we just go take the Holo now?"

Garrus had a smug pleased look on his face, or at least for a Turian. Then Donnelly spoke for the crew, "Ey' no way commander, you're just getting interesting, what else is there?"

Liara looked at Tali who nodded to continue, mischief in her eyes. "Well then…"

Then Tali interrupted, "Wait, you said two rivals. Who was the second one and how was she tougher than Ashely. I remember Ash really tried hard. Who else was there besides you and Ash?"

"You were the hardest rival Tali."

Tali jumped in her seat. "Me, how could that be, we weren't …..involved then." She blushed under her helmet and fidgeted in her seat. At this, John perked up; maybe things would swing away from him now.

"Well Tali, you had your four helpers."

Tali looked at Liara questionably, her eyes opening up.

"Well, you had Garrus, Wrex, Adams, and Dr. Chawkas. They all tried to push Shepard towards you. Wait, you didn't know?"

Tali looked around the room at the mentioned names present.

Dr. Chawkas just smiled and said "Guilty as charged. Not that I didn't like you too Liara."

Then everyone looked at Garrus.

"Hey, why do you think Wrex and I hung around, Shepard was talking to Tali from the moment she came aboard. Figured if he liked an alien that way he was worth a shot hanging around with."

"Really Shepard, why do you think they were all getting you to talk to Tali. I had to make sure I was always around if she wasn't."

"What are talking about? I thought they just wanted me to make sure she was okay, you know…ahhhh… home sickness and all."

Garrus's laughed, "No one's buying it boss."

"Men, always so dense. The Commander is no exception." Chawkas smirked. "It was obvious to everyone but you two."

Tali stammered, "Are we talking about the same ship? Shepard was just a good friend at the time." Chuckles and laughter came from the room.

Thane looked at the Commander, "Sometimes we don't know what's right in front of us. Luckily you got second chance."

Miranda, agitated, spoke out, "Shepard comes back 2 years later thinking he is still with you, and a month later he's with..with…some..one else, and everything's fine?" She chose her words carefully; she didn't want to piss of Shepard over what she called the alien.

"It was a long 2 years, we all changed. We are different people now. I prevented Tali and John before, I can't do it again."

Samara looked at Liara, "You gain wisdom quickly for one so young. You're tenure as Shadow Broker should be interesting."

"You're just pissed your cheerleading ass isn't as perfect as you think. Bitch." Jack and Miranda glared at each other. Shepard had gone out of his way for both of them and it amounted to nothing more. Jack had moved on to someone else, but Miranda was hung up. She had been toying with Jacob, much to Kasumi's dismay.

"Well, in looking through the Shadow Broker's files I found some interesting things on the Commander and his feeling towards Tali. Maybe I should share them?"

Nods and approvals meet the request. Shepard just put his head back on the table and waited for the next round. What could the Shadow Broker have on him about Tali that could be so bad anyways? What's the worst it could be? Then again, that's the thought process that got him in this situation. He sighed and waited.


	2. Ousted Part 2

Liara smiled a bit and started "Well, the first item is actually something Garrus has been holding on to I believe."

Garrus looked at Liara still not sure of what she meant.

"When the commander was near the Mako at some point, and you were hiding underneath?"

Garrus's mandibles flared and has eyes opened, "How did you know that? It's only been on my omni-tool, guess even I forgot about it." Liara just smiled smugly as Garrus continued. "Well, Wrex, Tali, and I had been on the ship about a week and we had done our first major mission. We were still feeling the Commander and the human crew out. I was under the Mako one morning working on fixing it after another stellar driving session by the commander…"

"Hey, none of you ever volunteered, it's harder than it looks you know. Besides, what are you talking about Garrus?" A chorus a shhhs greeted the commander.

"Anyways, the Commander thought I was somewhere else and that Wrex must have been asleep, so he wallowed in some self-pity for a bit. I caught it for, ahem, possible future use."

The commander bolted upright, he mind going back to that first week. He remembered what he said, Garrus was there? Shit! "Garrus, you don't really have that? Wrex heard it too?" He was going ask him stop, but knew he had no leverage and it just make him look more pathetic than he was about too.

"Krogan's have very good hearing; I know you know that now. Anyways, here is the great Commander, I had no idea he was going to say this, but I am glad I got it."

Zeaad snorted, "Dumit', we're fin'le gonna hear Nancy boy express himself!"

Shepard wondered if he could call general quarters or something, anything, but it wouldn't make this go away. Might as well get it over with, he looked at Tali who's eyes where wide with anticipation, he was sure she was smiling under her helmet.

"Okay everyone here we go. Dim the lights a little EDI."

"Of course Officer Vakarian."

Then the holo sprang to life. A pair of feet were seen walking next to the Mako, "Garrus? Garrus, you around?" It was definitely the Commander's voice. "Dammit, Garrus, you here?" Just as the holo started to inch towards the feet, "Damn" followed by a sigh. The holo jumped around and just caught the site of a Quarian's head heading towards the engineer spaces. As the image switched back to the feet, the Commander's voice continued, "There she goes, she's just so…nice. I just like talking to her. Man I'm glad she came along. She's the best thing to happen since this whole Saren craziness started." The feet shuffled a bit. "Just talking to her is relaxing, I don't know what she's explaining to me half the time, but I like it. What would I do anyways? Wanna go out? Yeah, and have her Admiral dad and a whole species accuse me of cradle robbing. Why couldn't this happen after her pilgrimage? She'll find what she needs and leave, like everyone else. Then I'll have to bit my tongue as I see her later with some Quarian guy around her. Shit. Why can't anything be easy? Hell, I don't even know if she can take the suit off, but I don't seem to care." Another pause hung in the air. "Okay Shepard, enough of this wallowing shit, let's just go talk and see how she's doing today. Garrus may come back by then."

Garrus paused the holo and looked at the Commander, completely self-satisfied, and spoke.

"Commander, what would you give for me to stop here? Vacation, my own room? Hmmm... maybe credits?"

Shepard looked up from the table, "Just do it, I can't stop this now."

Gabby spoke up, "What's wrong, it's very sweet so far." The rest of the female crew nodded in agreement. Tali seemed happy about it. Kasumi was happy for her friend.

Tali spoke up, "Umm, the translator didn't get part of that, what's a cradle robber?"

A snickering Kasumi replied, "Someone who dates someone much younger than them, or just someone who is not of age yet, like before their pilgrimage is done." Tali just nodded in understanding.

"Aww, just get on with it dum it!" Zeaad just knew something good was coming.

Garrus chuckled and started the holo again. Shepard exhaled slowly.

"There she is…" followed by another sigh. The holo shifted to Tali who had stopped to talk to someone, just the tops of their heads could be seen. Then, back to the feet, "If that isn't the best looking ass in the damn galaxy I don't know what is, regardless of species. A few more years when she's done growing and just…I mean…damn. And someone else will be there because I can go in to battle without a problem, but just having her around and I'm shit." A foot kicked the front Mako tire. "No, I'm gonna do this." As the foot struck out, a female voice called for the commander from across the bay. "Shit, no not you, never mind, what do you want Williams?" The holo stopped. Garrus seemed quite pleased with himself. The crew having never heard the Commander quite talk that way was mostly quiet.

Donnelly was all smiles again, "Hey, com' here credits, told you the commander was an ass man." As omni-tools lite up, groans were heard again.

Hawthorne was not happy, "It's not fair, you were in engineering and had an inside seat to this."

"Aye, then you should not have had bet then. Shound ya?" Gabby let go of his hand and kicked his shin. "Ay women, I'm just betting on the obvious, you'll get a nice dinner out of it."

Zeaad was looking around, "That's it? We all knew what he liked, at least he finally admitted it. Helps explain why TIM picked his project lead doesn't it now." Miranda said nothing, she knew she was the best to lead the project, but the Illusive Man, also knew her body wouldn't hurt to have around to control Shepard. They had looked in to his history quite extensity. In getting the Tali dossier, she knew she had failed in that part of the mission. But he said only if she genuinely developed feelings for him. Guess it didn't matter now.

Tali was kind of shocked. She had never heard John speak about her like that, or anyone else for that manner, in such a lustful way. She had seen men look at her, but that was something else, and not John. She just tried to stay calm, she didn't want to seem like she was gloating. She wanted to scream for joy. Why hadn't he said anything then, then again, why hadn't she? She had feelings then for him too. But, she could play coy for the moment.

"Shep, I really didn't know you had that in you. Guess that means I'll never make the list." Kasumi, smiled beneath her veil. Shepard had to laugh a little too.

The crew continued to look at the Commander, fierce, determined, savior of the Galaxy, twice, and someone just looking for happiness like anyone else. What else was to come? At least the Commander could a good ribbing as well as dish it out.

Liara saw the pause and continued, "Thank you Garrus, I had no idea."

Garrus and Shepard looked over speaking at the same time, "What do you mean?" They said.

"Well, I knew you had something, but not what. That was more than I thought. The last holo will fill in the details. On to the next one. I arrived on the ship a few weeks later and ummm, interceded the Commander's thoughts apparently. Have any of you heard the Commander's last words? The real ones, not what the Alliance released to the public? I doubt most of the escape pods even heard it."

Joker, looked down, "I heard it, I was the only one close enough as the last pod out. Didn't seem like it worth mentioning when he was brought back, then I guess I forgot about it." Joker still felt bad the Commander had died to save his ass.

Shepard looked at Joker, then at Liara, he didn't remember his last words, just the struggle, then cold, lack of air, and then darkness. What could he have said?

"This is after the news reports stopped at John saying the crew is safe and other heroic items." Liara punched a few keys on her omni-tool and the recording started. Beeps and warnings were going off, suit breeches, lack of air, a deep sucking sound was heard, "NO!", "Not like this, I have more to do!" The crew heard a man confronting his end. The warnings grew more urgent in tone, health warnings started going off. "Shit! Come on, where's the leak?" The suit spoke of multiple ruptures, "NO NO NO!" Then a pause, some grunting, and suit announcing it was shutting down support to help preserve the body, then a final gasp was heard followed by "Tali".

The crew seemed saddened and stunned at the same time. Most of them liked Tali, but did she really have that much of a hold over him, back then? The few that didn't like working with the aliens were definitely not pleased.

Liara looked at Tali, "It hurt when I heard that a few days ago, but I knew it was over before that. The Commander was getting ready to dump me anyways."

Tali's eyes widen and she sat back in her chair and looked at Shepard. Shepard looked at Liara, "I was?"

"Yes, the last holo will prove just that. Do you remember getting drunk with Garrus and Wrex before we last left the Citadel after defeating Saren? Probably not, since you were quite drunk, the Ryncol did you all in."

Shepard looked at Garrus, "I don't remember much. A lot of drinking, spending a mess of credits I could never account for, and waking up in some alley in the good part of town."

Garrus tried thinking about it, "That's about all I remember too, but we had a good time, and then we didn't see Wrex again until Shepard came back."

"Oh, before I forgot, Ashley had called me a name after our last encounter and she lost. I never figured it out. Could someone explain it to me?"

"Shoot", replied Kasumi.

"What is a Rooster-blocker? Ashley was quite mad when she said it. I know Rooster wasn't the exact term, but I fall to see what a small earth farm animal had to do with me being with the commander."

After a second, all of the human women all started snickering, or laughing. The aliens present were all as perplexed as Liara. About half the men got it, Shepard just put his head back on the table. Then, as he expected, it got worse.

"Can anyone answer the question? I assume by the laughing someone knows."

Then a cool steady voice answered, "Yes, Dr. T'soni, I believe I can answer that question."

The room got quiet as everyone waited for EDI speak on the matter. "Yes, EDI is it? Please explain it to me."

"It is a personification or colloquialism of the human male's penis or sex organ." The laughter started to rise in the room.

"The Rooster on earth is also called a cock, another name for the human male penis." People starting to double over in laughter as the calm voice explained the saying. The fact that the aliens were actually trying to listen and learn added to the situation.

Liara interrupted, "Yes, that's what she called me, a cock blocker." Half the crew was falling out. The rest were covering there months trying to stay quiet. Even Shepard was laughing.

"Yes doctor, that would make sense. The Rooster awakes at dawn when the sun rises. Many times so does a penis whether for procreation, or to make it known it is time to go to bathroom."

Garrus shushed everyone, "Please, some of us are trying to learn about human culture. Please continue EDI, this is very informative." As he looked at Shepard and could barely contain his own laughter.

"Of course Officer Vakarian. As cock is a substitution for rooster, Ms Williams was asserting you were blocking her attempt to reach Commander Shepards cock." As the whole floor had tears in their eyes or were doubled over, Liara nodded her understanding, "Thank you EDI, very informative. But, his cock as it were was not out to be taken. Is that something human males do, I never saw anyone do that aboard the ship." Even Shepard was laughing in to his arm on the table.

"I believe you are taking me to literally Doctor."

Even Thane and Samara had smirked, Jack and Miranda shared a laugh, the only one not laughing was Grunt. "If the battlemaster did do that I'm sure you would all be in awe!" After a brief silence, more laughter erupted from the room. Shepard had leaned back in his chair and was clutching his side. Everyone hadn't laughed like that in months; maybe it would good for everyone after all. He still wasn't coming out to badly in this. Then having melted in to the background since he had gained acceptance after the suicide mission, and usually just observing, Legion spoke up.

"Shepard-Commander, we have a query." In between laughing and gasping for air, Shepard got out "Go ahead."

As the Geth's "eyebrows" fluttered back and forth.

"We do not understand why organics would behave this way. If Ms Williams had taken up Dr. T'soni on her earlier offer, could she not have at least shared in the cock instead of being … blocked? Then all could have been satisfied, correct?"

More laughter erupted in the room. Even the most stoic of people let a smile come across their lips.

Then another monotone voice answered, "Most species mate one at a time, to share can cause conflict and in human history war and destruction."

"Understood, we will inquire more on this when things are calmer." Legion stepped back to the wall to continue observing. All processes were focusing on what was the humor in the situation. What caused the organics, across species, to come together and share this in common laughter?

Tali sat surprisingly still. She was laughing, but not as hard as the others, she understood there would still be competition from somewhere, but at least she learned something else to watch for. She had also turned off her voice modulator since she was laughing so hard while trying to keep her body language in control.

After a few minutes when the laughter had died down, a still serious Liara continued,

"Miss Chambers?"

"Yes."

"If there was there a small box Cerberus also gave the Commander along with my picture, could you get it?"

"Yes, please don't continue without me, I'm learning so much more about the commander." She sprinted out of the room to the living quarters.

"What box Liara?"

"You'll see Shepard, something you probably don't remember in your drunken stupor."

Kelly came racing back with a small brown rectangular box in her hand. She gave it to Liara. As she opened the outer packaging box, the women gasped as a white box with gold lettering came out, that spelled "Galactic Elite No. 8 Collection".

"Wow, Shep, you went all out." As Kasumi patted his back she scanned the package and her eyes grew wide. Even Tali knew of the store from the Flotilla. It was the most exclusive store around, in the Citedal, maybe the galaxy. Quarians were basically never allowed in to most of them due to their stereotypes. Liara pulled out a small purse that was white with gold trim and thin shoulder strap.

Liara smiled, "Thank you Shepard, it's beautiful."

Shepard looked at Liara with a blank look on his face, "Liara I never brought that. I've never been in a Galactic Elite store."

She smiled slyly, "Oh, you were in it, and had a very interesting time."

Shepard looked at Garrus, who just shrugged his shoulders. Damn who ever taught him that human trait. Garrus was as dumbfounded as Shepard.

The women jealously looked at the hand bag. Kasumi let out a low whistle, what's that Shep, about 50 K on a women you were going to dump? Sounds fishy Shep."

"Ms. Goto, as you were there for this incident and what transpired maybe you shouldn't egg the situation on. It is egg right?"

"Yes Doctor T'soni, I believe it is."

"Thank you EDI."

Kasumi, looked back at Liara, then Shepard, and finally Tali. As the events came back to her she stuttered out, "Look Shep, I didn't know you then, or Cerberus, it was all in fun. I gotta go." Shepard reached out and grabbed her arm.

"If I'm stuck in this hell so are you."

Kasumi nervously looked at Tali, "I helped, you'll see, it was all worth my finders' fee."

Now Tali's interest as well as the rest of the room was piqued. Then Tali looked at the purse, John spent 50K on Liara, she wondered if he would do that for her? Seeing Tali sigh a bit, Kasumi spoke up.

"Hey, I'm just giving Shep a hard time. You're dressed head to toe in his gift to you. Believe me, much more expensive stuff than that purse." Shepard and the crew looked at Tali's Purple Bul'Tak. Tali grabbed an end and looked at it. "What do you mean? My aunty Raan gave this to me. What does Shepard have to do with it?"

"Are you sure Tali? After Shepard died I got a message to pick up a package from Galactic Elite to be shipped to you while I was still at C-Sec. I knew the logo wouldn't go over well on the fleet, so I just repacked it in a plain box. I never looked past the inner wrapping to see what it was. Didn't have the time, I didn't know where it came from." Garrus looked hard at the cloak as he tried to remember anything about getting it. What had he and Shepard gotten in to that night?

Liara turned to Garrus, "Do you remember how you got your new sniper rifle before anyone else? The first to get an Insicor rifle isn't a cheap feat."

"It just shown up with a card, it said "Thanks Bro", that was it. I have the card from Tali's box in my locker at the Citadel." Tali, shifted in her seat. She wondered if it was from John? Did he really feel this way about her even back then?

Kasumi looked at Garrus and then Shepard, "Well, let's all find out what a drunk human, turian, and krogan do together and solve the mystery, k, Shep?"

Shepard and Garrus were both perplexed, but wanted to know. How drunk had they gotten, how did they wind up in a Galactic Elite, if he spent 50K on Liara, how much did he spend on Tali, and Garus or Wrex for that matter? Just what did Kasumi and the Shadow Broker know?


	3. Ousted Part 3

Liara looked at Shepard and Garrus, "Neither of you remember anything from that night? Drinking Ryncol trying to keep up with a Krogan is not a smart plan commander."

"Look Liara we don't remember, just continue please." Shepard implored as he wanted the whole situation to end.

Liara smirked and touched her omni-tool again. The image came to life and the story began.

It was security camera footage in the Galactic Elite Company store on the Citadel. Three younger Asari were on the screen. One was behind the counter with a much older Asari, possibly a Matriarch. She had a cane and seemed to be in charge. The other two were in the store closing drawers and locking items up. Then, one of the floor Asari's omni-tool beeped and her eyes widened.

"We have a new customer. It says it is THE Commander Shepard! He is with 2 others."

The other on the floor looked at her, "How did he get in? He's only a Spectre."

"It says he has 10 million worth of credit chits on him, that'll get anyone in."

The older Asari spoke up, "Okay young ones, he's probably here to buy something for a certain Asari if the rumors are correct. I know it's almost closing, but a sale is a sale."

The younger Asari all seemed excited and rushed to get the draws open, and lights on again. After a minute or so they seemed satisfied and waited for the commander and his friends to show up. One went to the door to look down the hallway. She came back in to view excited and stated, "They're coming!"

The camera shook a little, and the Asari's face changed as someone came near. She opened the door, "Welcome Commander Shepard.", then she looked questionably at the Matriarch.

In to the screen Shepard and Garrus stumbled in to the store, hanging on to each other. Then with a grunt and holding a bottle Wrex appeared, he seemed to sway as he slowly plodded in.

Garrus was laughing, "I can't believe you're here. You…you… going to go through with it. No way." His speech was slow and slightly slurred.

Shepard replied, "Hells ya. I'm going to do this. Wrex! Courage please."

Wrex came up and shakily poured increasing amounts of Ryncol into two glasses, he produced another bottle for Garrus. Shepard got the smallest then Garrus and Wrex drank the largest. "Get on with it Shepard, we have real drinking to do elsewhere." His speech was slow, even for Wrex.

They all drank, and Shepard shook his head as the drink hit him. "Right, m'ladies, I need something for my girlfriend!" His support, Garrus, snickered, "Shepard has a girlfriend. HA! More ladies for me!"

The Matriarch leaned over from behind the counter, "Commander, surely you may want to come back and represent your kind in a better state?"

"I'm the commander here; I NEED a present for my girlfriend." As he drew some credit chits from his jacket, "I got money, let's see something. I was told you had gifts for her kind."

The Asari all looked at each other. "Fine, Maldi, please show the Commander something from the far counter." The Asari beckoned the Commander over and he and Garrus followed. Wrex stood his ground swaying in a small circle. "What's this shit? She's MY girlfriend, she needs something big. This is a million credit chit and I'm ready to spend it." The Matriarch signaled the young one to stop.

"Gild'ran, go get the clutch and purse collection, top tier."

"Yeah, top tier, that that that….top tier!" Shepard stuttered out.

Garrus stopped laughing and looked at Shepard, "Hey what do we get? We.. we are helping here."

"Wrex, Garrus, I got a ton of money from all the weapons and contraband we got, and can't hold any more omni-gel, think and ask." Shepard turned to one of the Asari, "Hey you, I'm here to get a present for my girlfriend, I was told your store could help."

The young Asari looked at the Matriarch and cautiously eyed the krogan. "Sir, you are responsible for any damage your friends cause as they came with you."

Wrex grunted, Garrus glared, but the Commander was having none of it. "My….My friends are staying. Hey I heard you got gifts my girlfriend might like. Well, do you?"

One of the young Asari returned with two purses. A white one like Liara had, and a blue one that was slightly smaller. "Here Commander, what do you think of these?"

"What the hell? She can't use this? Is this a joke? I thought you had stuff for her, damn."

The asari looked at Shepard in disbelief, "Sir, any women would love this."

"She has pockets all over, she doesn't need a purse, she can't take it with her. Service!"

The young woman holding the purses presented the white one to Shepard, "I think this will do."

"Yeah Shepard, she'll love it."

"Not you to Garrus, I thought you had gotten over their past."

"Ummmmm…what? What past?"

"Oh, we're here, hey, I heard you have items for my girlfriend's kind, true?"

"Shepard take this for Liara, and let's go", Wrex finally gumbled.

"Fine, I'll take it, but I still need something for my girlfriend."

Everyone looked at Shepard.

Garrus spoke up, "Umm I'm pretty sure she is, you sneak around with her, you know. Who else is it?"

Shepard put his hand on Garrus, pointed at him and seemed to freeze. Wrex snorted, "Can't hold your liquor huh?"

Then Shepard started up again, "Don't you two give me shit, you pine over some girl from a former ship, and YOU pine over some Asari who almost killed you. I know what I'm doing." Then he looked around, "Hey, we're here, do you have things for my girlfriend's kind?"

"Yes, you brought this purse sir."

"She can't use that, I was told you could help."

Finally the Matriarch took down a photo of the victorious saviors of the Citadels and put it in front of Shepard, "Can you point her out?" Shepard's eyes blinked as he tried to focus on the image in front of him. His hands going over the image, slowly in a seemingly random order. Then, he smiled and stopped. He pointed at the picture and said "Her, right there."

"That's your Krogan friend behind you. Can you point to the person in the picture who is your girlfriend?"

Shepard put an index finger on the photo. The Asari all raised their eyebrows and looked at each other. "Are you sure Commander?"

"Hells ya! Let's go!"

Garrus stumble over, "Who, who did he point too?"

One of the younger ones answered, "The quarian in the picture. Is this correct?"

Garrus jump in front of Shepard, "I KNEW it, ever since I was under the Mako those weeks ago, I knew you had a thing for her! Shepard and the Quarian, this'll be good."

"Well duh. Some Turian detective you are, no wonder C-Sec gave you up. Hahaha."

"Good enough for a SPECTRE though, huh?"

"Touche' my friend."

Wrex, moved and the Asari jumped back, "Hmpt, about time you admitted it. Now, can we get back to drinking somewhere proper?" He drank from the container again and gave small vials to his friends who quickly downed them.

The senior asari spoke "Well Commander, you are correct, we have several items she might desire, how about a nice Bul'Tak for when she completes her pilgrimage?"

"Wait, I know that one, head gear stuff right?"

"Yes, head gear; you have come to right place."

"All right let's see um."

The eldest signaled to the younger ones to get the dressings. Garrus turned to Shepard, "Shepard I know what I want."

"Hair? No, really, shoot."

"They have a new sniper rifle that shoots 3 shots at a time; it's going to be awesome! It's coming out soon; maybe with your SPECTRE status you can get me one?"

Shepard keyed his omni-tool, "Quartermaster?"

"Yes SPECTRE Shepard."

"I need a sniper rifle that shoots 3", he glanced at Garrus.

"Yeah 3." Garrus nodded.

"3 shots at once, got one?"

"Sir, that rifle is classified and not out yet. Maybe you can come here when you are more…..together and talk about it securely?"

"Don't give me your condescending shit! How much and when?"

"Sir! 820K and it can be delivered in a few months when ready."

"Very well, I'm transferring the credits, send it directly to Officer Garrus Vakarian, sign it, Thanks Bro."

"Received, it shall be done sir, out."

Shepard gave Garrus a chit, "Here is the rest, 180K for ammo."

Garrus's mandibles flared, "Thanks Shepard, I'm stunned, since I'm not your girlfriend and all."

Shepard grabbed Garrus by the arm, pulled him in and have him a quick hug and pat on the back, and stepped back. "That's your bro hug for the year. Thanks for being there. You too lummox."

He went to Wrex and did the same.

Garrus, blinked and looked shocked, "ummmm…..okay."

"Sir, please take a look if you're done with the hugs."

She laid out several pieces of fabric on the counter.

"Just the best, that can resisted blood and stuff."

"This one is military grade for our more cautious customers."

"Wrap it up!"

"A Color sir?"

"I know that one too, purple."

"And a pattern?"

"Huh?"

"Bul'Tak's have a pattern, please look through this book and pick one."

Shepard tried turning the pages, but only succeeded in dropping it on the floor. As he fell down trying to retrieve it he pointed ahead of him. "Look, a little Japanese elf."

Everyone looked around then at Shepard on the floor. Garrus squinted into the store, "A what?"

"Hi little elf." Shepard waved from the floor.

As the young Asari looked around for anyone, the Matriarch, hit a button under the counter, locks could be heard clicking shut, "Ms. Goto, I know you must be here….again. You will not escape this time."

"Hey, were did she go?" Shepard called as he used the counter to stand back up. Then pointed to the book, "This one!"

The older asari looked, "Are you sure?" She had a pained look on her face. "I don't know that any young women would want that."

"Well, my girlfriend kicks ass and explosions and such. So, explosions."

As the manager looked away in to the store, Shepard's finger moved in an awkward way, "Thank you elf, yes this is the one!"

The Asari snapped back and reached out, but only grabbed air. Then she looked down at the book and saw the new design. "Yes, much better, swirls number 5 in purple, top fabric. What size?"

Shepard reach his hands out and in front of the Matriarch, put his hands out and squeezed the air with a smile on his face, "This size."

"Yes, commander, most quarians are the about the same size nowadays, we'll get it in medium. Name please."

"Commander John Q. Shepard!"

"No, her name." She sighed as she continued to survey her store, looking for the thief she knew had to be there.

"Ohh.. Tali'Zorah vas..var… Neema."

"Oh yes, the Zorah clan, I remember them. Gild'ran, make it with a little more room around the bottom half."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean! Anyways, I'm here to get something for my girlfriend I was told this store could help me."

"Yes commander, how about a Bul'Tak in purple with this swirl design?"

"You guys are awesome, now that's service."

"Yes, we try sir. Standard buying due to the high end fabric is four, you will get 2 light and 2 dark Bul'Taks, it will take a few months."

"Fine, fine, wrap it up and deliver it to the Migrant fleet."

"And a back up sir."

"My main man Garrus here." He looked around and saw his friend on the floor and pointed to him.

"Of course sir."

Agitated by the Asari still looking around for someone, Wrex bellowed, "Okay, now that you've gone and showed how you'll piss off all of the women on the ship, can we go Shepard?"

"Jeez, Wrex, coming from the guy too scared to help his own home world you give me shit. I'll give you two full chits if you actually follow through." Then Shepard staggered over and pressed a finger in the towering Krogan. "Well?"

Wrex took another swig of Ryncol, bleched, roared and stormed off camera, presumably in to and through a wall as debris and chucks of wall came back from the direction he left.

"NO, she can get away now. We could have gotten her." The Matriarch lamented.

Shepard turned back around to the counter, "Hey, do you guys have stuff here for my girlfriend?"

"Yes, how would you like them signed?"

"I'll always love you, THE Shepard, in English and Quarian. Let some quarian guy try and beat that for the rest of her life! HA!"

Then Shepard stumbled back, tripped over Garrus's foot and fell down. Then he spoke "I'm THE Shepard and this is my favorite Citadel story." Rolled over, threw up on the floor, and passed out on top of Garrus.

The Matriarch, unfazed, spoke to the younger ones "Please take one of the chits off of the commander, 50K for the purse, 400K for the Bul'Taks, and an even 550K for the damage to the store, displays, and a tip. Thank you, Commander. Ladies, call the guards to take them away."

Then the camera started shaking again. As the Asari looked up, two chits could be seen leaving the commander and disappearing in to thin air. Wrex came back and looked around, a wild look on his face, "My Friends! You're right Shepard, I'll go back!" The chits dropped back in to sight.

The Matriach approached, took the two chits from Shepard and gave them to Wrex, "With his blessings, please take your friends out." Then she took another one and put it in Garrus's pocket. Wrex picked up his friends, slung them over his shoulders and stormed out. Then, a rack shook and a chit fell to the floor.

Gild'Ran still in shock looked at the mess of one of the most elite stores on the Citadel. She noticed a chit on the floor. "Mother, he forgot a chit, and it's full."

"Well, looks like the good Commander has a tab at our lovely store for which ever young lady he winds up with. It's the least we can do with such a ringing endorsement." She drooled out.

"What about his free ring for spending 1 million credits? Even if it is due to fixing the walls?"

Their mother smiled, "Yes, we honor our promotions, one very large ring for the quarian. 3 digit species have thick digits. This should prove interesting. If Ms. Goto, took anything, add it to the Commander's tab too."

"Yes, mother."

Then, the holo shifted to a security camera on "Alley No. 341". The time was a few hours later. Wrex was seen getting up and looking at the chits in his hands. "Thanks Shepard, you're a credit to humans and you've got quads of stone. I'm heading back to Tuchucka, and with this will bring the Krogan back, under my rule, and ready to fight the Reapers. Good-bye my friend." He patted Shepard on the head, and then left the screen.

Then, a familiar young lady with a male escort came in from the right. "See Kenji, I told you, THE Commander Shepard."

"Think we should tell him about the Alliance info we've found?"

"Naw, he's still sleeping it off. Besides, He still owes me a chit." She bent down and took two chits from Shepard's pocket. "Oh wait." She bent down next to Shepard face and kissed him on the cheek as Kenji snapped a holo. "I'm a fan now commander, can't wait to see who Tali and Liara are, and who wins. Which tabloid do you think will carry it Kenji?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but stealing 2 million creds from him doesn't seem like a good idea."

"Don't worry; with what I have recorded from Elite, he won't come looking for it, if he even remembers. They were drinking Ryncol last night, a lot."

"Are you still messing with them? You don't pick on one place, it gets you caught, they can plan for you."

"They almost did until that Krogan made an escape route for me. Besides, I got you something."

"You're incorrigible. Looks like they're waking up, let's go." The couple left the screen.

A few moments later, Shepard groaned, rolled over, and propped himself against the wall. He kicked Garrus in the leg as he stood.

"What the hell happened Garrus?" He looked in his jacket, "Didn't I had 10 maxed out chits last night? I only see 2 now. Where's Wrex?"

"Don't know, but with headaches like this, we must have had fun, let's get the ship, man I gotta pee." As Garrus finished, he noticed the Commander already reliving himself on the wall. Then the holo ended. The crew was waiting for the reaction, it all seemed surreal.

Shepard raced to speak first, "EDI, can you verify this, I don't remember any of this! Garrus?"

"Ummmm…I don't remember either, but I didn't wear those clothes again for months, until I left for Omega. The gun came, and then I found 1 million in my pocket to get started. Just thought things were falling in to place. Who knew it was you? And you got Wrex started, Shepard you caused trouble even in death. Guess the package got sent to me since the Migrant Fleet wasn't specific enough and I sent it off, like I said before I left for Omega. Man we had a lot of Ryncol that night."

Shepard turned to Kasumi, "You stole 2 million credits from me? Is all of this true?"

"Yep Shep, but if it makes you feel any better, it went to good causes. Like Kenji and me. Besides, I got you off the awful explosion pattern you picked; Tali should be thanking me every day for intervening."

"This can't be right, Aunty Raan, gave this to me. It does say I'll always love you, but that's it. There's no the Shepard on any of them."

Samara spoke, "Tali, you would have only looked at the part in Quarian. Did you ever look for anything in human?"

Over the intercom EDI delivered her news, "Commander, all indications are the holo is authentic."

Tali turned over a piece of fabric near her helmet on her left side. "Here in the inside so I could see it, I'll always love you. Nothing else."

Kasumi came up in front of Tali and reach for the other side of the helmet. "Yes, but they only get so much space to insert a message, let's look on the other side, and there it is!"

As Kasumi turned the fabric over there in English was THE Shepard. "Well?" someone in the back asked. Kasumi smiled and turned, "It's there, in English, THE Shepard. Tali would never have understood the language. Wow Shep, you had it bad, and couldn't even remember."

The crew snickered and several whipping sounds followed by cat meows were heard on top of the conversations.

"But, my aunt wouldn't lie to me like that, it doesn't make any sense."

"Think of your state during this time, would a gift from the dead have made things better?" Samara inquired.

"I don't know, but I have to know now. She'll tell me now that I know."

Liara stood up, "Well, as the human's say. I am a women scorned and now I have to go. One last item for you Tali."

"Yes?"

"Are you ready to be the hated and scorned women in the Galaxy? Once this gets out, you will be on the galactic stage, and the spotlight will be intense."

Tali, already felt ostracized from some of her own people, and the rest of the galaxy looked down on Quarians anyways, this couldn't be any worse, besides, Shepard would be there with her.

"I'm ready, thanks for the information Liara, I appreciate it."

"I hope so. Anyways for proof, just go back to the store and ask for the ring."

Shepard stood up, "Okay everyone I think we're done, can we get the picture taken now?"

Miranda chimed in "Everyone stay, Commander can you come back when you're done?"

The crew groaned and the remaining SR-1 crew members left.

EDI took a holo and after some hugs and cheerful good-byes Liara headed out wishing Shepard and Tali the best of luck and promised to send them any pertinent information. She had Shepard's top list of things to start looking in too. Joker muttered and limped back to the mess hall. Dr. Chakwas, turned and smiled at the ousted couple, "I'm glad Shepard finally came to his senses and manned up as it were. A moping, pouting commander is no fun. You two are cute couple."

"Wait Doctor, was it really that obvious?"

"Tali, even Engineer Adams knew why Shepard always came down, and it wasn't to learn about the drive core." She walked out with a sly smile on her face.


End file.
